


Always Have

by infinityletters



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean Winchester, Chick flick moment, Gay Love, Love, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Top Castiel, Top Dean Winchester, gayestgaythatcouldevergay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityletters/pseuds/infinityletters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is done being hauled back and forth by Dean Winchester. He's done being his savior. But what happens when he spills the beans and everything is laid out on the table? Will Dean Winchester take the bait? Or will he run away for good?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Give me a little leeway, its my first time writing this kind of fanfiction. <3

The motel door beside him slammed shut with a furious thunderous THUD. Carefully, Dean settled his head against his own door. God dammit. Dean fcked up everything once against with Castiel. They were finishing a hunt in Oklahoma when things took a turn for the worst and Dean's plans got a little shaky and Dean fell into a vampire nest trap. Somehow, however, Castiel had found a way to hide himself, leaving only Dean to take the fall. He was strung up by two vampires who chained him by his wrists from the ceiling, connecting tubes to his main veins in his arms and draining the blood out of him. Thirstily, three young blooded vampires stayed behind to make sure Dean Winchester wasn't escaping ever again. Dean was pounded and wounded into calling out to Castiel, his angel, pleading in mercy for him to come save him already. And Cas was there. It took them four beheaded vampires and the yelling of another to get the attention of the three hungrily staring at Dean to take their attention off of him and onto Castiel. The entire fight was a blur to Dean, for his sight was beginning to get fuzzy and he only finally got back into reality when the blue eyes of a handsome angel looked back at him with darkened eyes filled with anger and fear. Fear? Castiel was never afraid, Cas was.. well he was Cas. Nothing ever got to him. So why the fear? Dean looked the angel up and down when finally a realization slipped into his mind; Cas was covered in blood. "Cas, hey Cas b-buddy is that yours?" Castiel ignored the question, yanking the tubes out of Dean's skin and instantly healing him with his fading grace. Back to normal, Dean forced the question out of his mouth again, the words tasting bitter. "Cas. Buddy. Is - is that your blood?" The guilt ate away at Dean's insides. Castiel had risked his life for him. Again. After how many times this month had he gone on a rampage and hunted until his entire body couldn't move anymore?

"No. No, Dean. It's the vampires.. and.. " Castiel couldn't get himself to look at Dean. It was his blood, Deans, all over his trench coat and suit. He was practically bathing in it. "And yours." Then with that, Castiel reaches out and presses two fingers onto Dean's forehead; knocking him out instantly, leaving Castiel to haul him to the impala bridal style, murmuring under his breath even though Dean was knocked out, "This is not how I planned it to go."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud SLAM against baby's steering wheel jerked Dean awake. Nobody hits baby. Sitting up straight in his seat (wait, why was he laying down? And with a blanket? wait- who was driving?!) He shot up with fear as he saw an unfamiliar familiar trench coat covered in red. Dean assumed it was his own blood, recalling the failure of a hunt. He rubbed his hand to the back of his neck and somehow it felt as if his throat had gone numb. What could he say? I'm sorry? "Oh. Glad to see you're awake, Dean." Castiel spoke, keeping his eyes on the road, spitting each word out. His nostrils flared as his grip seemed to get tighter on the steering wheel, Castiel's knuckles turning white. Castiel's cerulean eyes dilated as they flickered back to look into the faded green of Dean's, where Dean saw the disappointment and self-hatred and furiousness in his eyes.

"Look, Cas, I'm sorry I got you into that mess-"

"You're sorry?!" Castiel exclaimed, unable to keep the tart out of his voice. "You're sorry you almost got us both killed back there? or even worse turned? Jesus Christ where is your head Dean? Where have you gone? Does it even matter to you that I care about your well-being?" Dean was speechless. He'd known he'd been reckless, but he could blame that all on the mark, right? "Uh, Cas, look, I'm not good with these chick-flick moments but I'm really sorry okay? I fucked up, bad this time. and I don't know if I can do anything this time but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I got you into this, I won't do it again." Castiel, upon finally arriving at the motel, slammed on the brakes and pounded the steering wheel. Turning around forcefully and leaning forward so much, Dean felt obliged to sit back as far as he could go. This was a side of Castiel that beat him up after he rebelled; a side he never wanted to see again. "You just don't seem to get it do you. Sorry won't cut it this time, or the next or the next! Because I'll always be your puppet on a string, ready to play and dance whenever you want. God! You idiot! How could this be fixed? That's your question? Well it isn't broken! Never has been! Wanna know why? Because you've never been there for me. So it's never really been a thing, has it. God, I'm such an idiot! You don't trust me with a good plan and you wind up nearly dead, almost too far gone for me to heal Dean! Do you understand how much grace that took to heal you? I've stopped twice to sleep for a couple hours. Twice. This only happened because you were too stubborn to go with your brother, you believing you're invincible with that damn mark on your arm. Well you're not Dean Winchester! You NEED your brother, hell maybe you even... " he trailed off, shaking his head clear of whatever he was about to say. "No, you don't need me. You just use me.And when you die, it'll be my fault. All my fault. Because I'll be the one cradling you in my arms when you're dying from god knows what. Well, Dean Winchester, I guess you finally found my weak spot, because I'm done. Okay? I'm just done."

A silence erupted loudly, making the ringing in Dean's ears stand out amongst the silence as the cerulean eyed man pierced through his own eyes to his very soul. Dean opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by Castiel holding a hand up, eyes now cast downwards, as if ashamed. "I'm going to get another hotel room." The angel then got out of the car and forcefully stomped his way towards the check-in, getting the room next to theirs.theirs. It had been theirs and Dean didn't realize what it had meant to him until now. On the verge of tears, Dean climbed out of the impala window and caught Castiel's trench coat just before he went into the room adjacent to his. It had been their room for weeks, he couldn't do without him now. "Castiel, please! I know nothing I ever say will mend our profound bond or whatever you want to call this but I am sorry, please forgive me. I need you in my life, I can't have you just up and leave like this. I need your feathery ass." With a single, sad smirk, Castiel repeated the words that Dean had said all those years ago. "I was there, where were you?" He murmured, yanking away his trench coat and slamming the door behind him.

__________________________________________________________________

Dean leaned his forehead against his own door, reluctant to go in and see the scattered bits of Castiel lying around when the real one could be in his arms right then if he hadn't been such a fucking baby. Suddenly, it began to rain, hard. "Oh, come on!" Dean exclaimed, feeling this day couldn't get any worse. Finally, an idea struck him. He knew what he had to do to get his angel back.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Castiel slid down the door and curled into a instinctive ball, ready for the tears to come. Warm, salty tears began streaming down his face as he sobbed into his bloody trench coat. It seemed he had been crying for hours, for, when he stood up, it had begun to pour down rain upon them. Then, three taps. He wiped his eyes and looked into the mirror near the door, attempting to make himself look like he hadn't been crying. He opened the door, only to see no one there. Then again, three taps. An idea sprung into his head. Dean. Back door. Rushing to the back door, he saw him. Completely soaked head to toe in rain, Dean tapped three times once more. Castiel stiffened. He wasn't going to bow down to him so easily. He looked at him with his eyes as if to say, resume.

With an eye-roll, Dean began, "I'm not very good at chick-flick moments, but I guess we're kinda in one right now so I have to be. Castiel Novak, All I've wanted -All I've ever wanted- was you. And I'm such a fucking dumbass for finally realizing it now. And now I don't have you, and it's like trying to breathe without oxygen, or trying to swim in sand. I can't do it; it's impossible for me to live without you. Ever since you raised me from perdition and I met you in that barn I knew there was something about you." He paused, attempting to force the words through his eyes instead of with his mouth."I've never been good at anything, but then I met you and suddenyl I became the best at everything because all I've done since the day I looked into those damn blue eyes of yours was loving you. He shouted over the rain and cracks of lightening, pointing towards Castiel. You could now see the raindrops they were so large. "So could you please, just let me in? and we'll talk? like we should've done the moment I knew I loved you?" Rushing to the door and unlocking it, he pulled Dean inside into a wet embrace filled with the emotions of their years together finally becoming one. As they both stepped inside, Dean gave Castiel no time to think as he bent down and forcefully kissed his lips. Ravishing their pinkness and sucking them until they were red, Cas leaned in, eagerly, wanting this more than anything else in the world, but something pulled inside of his stomach.

Pulling back, he asked an eyes-closed Dean, "Are you sure you want this?"

Opening his green eyes, a fire ignited inside of them, finally making them come alive again. "You're damn right I do."


	2. Chapter 2

Opening his green eyes, a fire ignited inside of them, finally making them come alive again. "You're damn right I do."

 

Dean was met with lips crashing onto his, Castiel's tongue licking Dean's bottom lip, begging, aching for entrance. It made Dean feel strange, kissing his best friend, practically his brother. He hesitated, only a moment, but it was long enough for Castiel to take notice. "What's wrong?" Castiel asked, terrified he'd gone too far and his speech going faster as he continued. "If you don't want to do this I understand. We're moving fast, but maybe we're just making up for lost time. Maybe we're just doing this because we're scared and we're family, practically brothers, Dean, and - "

Pressing a calused finger to the angel's red lips, Dean began to speak, nice and slow so he wouldn't terrify the angel any further. "That's just what I was thinking. But, frankily my dear, I. Don't. Give. A. Damn." Dean quoted, whispering into Castiel's ear, enunciating each word forcefully into Cas, making Castiel's pants tighten. Taking his hands and tracing them along the frame of Cas's shuddering form. Even though Dean was the one soaked with rain, Castiel was the one shivering from the cold. 

Suddenly Castiel grabbed Dean's plaid soaked shirt and leather jacket with beads of rain rolling off, and pulled him against his own warm body, his erection tightening his pants and grinding against Dean's own. A gasp escaped Dean's lips as he felt the sensation and thrust his hips forward, begging for more. Inside his mind, he prayed to Cas the words he didn't dare say aloud due to the current situation. 

'Cas, buddy, I need you.'

With Castiel's eyes filled with something more than love, more than lust; it was hunger. As if Famine had control of him, Castiel smashed his lips onto Dean's neck. Sucking and pulling and crashing his lips onto the rough skin turning purple, Castiel leaned back to look at his handy work. "It seems I have marked you again." he smirked. Dean only groaned in reply, silently begging him to keep going. 

Attempting to fulfill Deans prayers, he trailed purple marks up his neck, the Angels strong teeth making the hunters skin bleed with the purple bruises. 

Looking up to Dean as if to say he was sorry, Castiel began to apologize but again he pressed a calused finger again to his lips. Castiel heard a silent plea inside his head. 

"Castiel, I need you. I need you now." 

 

Practically roaring from the ecstasy of it, Castiel ripped the plaid shirt and blue jeans off of Dean;(literally it was in two pieces) and stripping his leather jacket off of him, having it fall in the corner. 

 

Dean followed suit and stripped Castiel of his trenchcoat and suit, leaving them both only in their boxer shorts, which barely fit either of them at the moment due to their hardenening erections pounding against the fabric. 

 

They stared at each other, each man aching for the other, but neither wanting to seem needy. Reading Deans mind (Castiel figured it was okay in this situation), he figured out exactly what he wanted and how. In Dean's words, Castiel was about to rock his world. 

 

Pushing him down on the motel bed, Castiel looked at Dean, not with hunger like before, but with love; with the love Dean Winchester deserved. Carefully laying on top of Dean, feeling his goosebumps as he did, Castiel smiled. "I've got you." he whispered, knowing it was what Dean needed, dreamt of him saying to him. 

 

With a smirk, Dean smiled, "Reading my mind again, eh Cas?"

 

"You're damn right I am." Repeating Dean's own words. 

 

With that, it started. Dean led his fingers down to Castiel's boxers, but Cas stopped him. "uh-Uh not yet." he murmured with a mischievous smile. 

 

Quickly grabbing Deans wrists, he pinned them against the headboard, Castiel growled, urging Dean to whine, to cry out. Straddling Dean, he thrusted his hips against Dean's groin, having both of their erections grow harder and both of the men whine with need. Castiel then asked Dean a silent question, to which he looked at his leather jacket thrown into the corner. Cas got up and used his fading grace to pin Dean against the bed, leaving him unmoving and writhing and with the loss of Castiels dick no longer on top of him. 

 

"Please, Cas, please I need you. I need you." He practically yelled. 

 

Reaching into Dean's leather jacket pocket, grabbing the lube, and coming back to straddle Dean once again, he bent down to whisper into Dean's ear, his lips grazing his ear. "Tell me what you want. Tell me. Exactly. What. You. Want." Cas growled as he humped Dean slowly, knowing it was torturous for him. 

 

"You already know, Castiel! You already know.. " He breathed, his hardening cock being grinded against almost making him tilt over the edge. 

 

"Tell me anyway!" Castiel yelled as he grabbed Deans cock from underneath his boxers and began pumping him into euphoria. 

 

"CAS! oh god, Cas,I can't, I can't. You're too, ugh." Dean forced, barely able to get the words formed in his mind to speak, the pre-cum leaking out of him like a water spring. 

 

"TELL ME DEAN! Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you, or I'll-" he paused, relasing Deans penis with a loud POP and beginning to back off of him. "stop."

 

Immediately, Deans eyes shot open,(him not even knowing they had closed) as he lost contact with Castiel's hand. Gulping, Dean tried to form the words. He motioned for Castiel to bend over so they're chests were against each other, glued together by Dean's own pre-cum. 

 

"I want you to fuck me. I want you to lay me down on this bed and fuck me harder than I have any other girl. I want you to fuck me, to pump me until I can't think straight. But I want you to make love to me, to kiss me, to cherish me, to take care of me, god dammit you've got me

speaking like a damn chick flick. Goddammit Cas, I want you to make love to me because - because I love you."

 

As Dean finished his words Castiel couldn't stand it anymore. He leaned forward and clashed his teeth against Deans, riding him up and down as his lips ravished Deans. Castiel let his grace let Dean go and Dean immediately put his hands on Castiel's boxers, ripping them off and throwing them in some unknown direction. But before Castiel could do anything else, Dean made him stop as he looked Castiel up. "God, you're beautiful Castiel. You're more beautiful than heaven."

 

With that, Castiel felt a blush he couldn't fight down. His hard facade now gone, he couldn't look Dean in the eyes; only repeated his actions and words, and meant every bit of them. Then Dean did something unexpected. Flipping them over, Castiel unexpectedly became bottom as Dean straddled Him. Grabbing the lube from Castiel, he began to rub his shaft up and down, jacking himself off with the lube running up and down him. 

 

"STOP!" Castiel screamed in agony. "Please, please let me do this to you. I need you as much as you need me. Please, baby, Dean. Please."

 

Dean stopped, and that was Castiel's cue. Flipping them both over with Castiel's angelic strength, Castiel topped once more. A confused Dean then spoke. "You could've done that without me lubing up or you begging, so why?". 

 

"Because I wanted to prove to you that I love you."  

 

Suddenly, Dean and Castiel finally found their balance; they connected like they had the day they met in that barn. Castiel took the lube and smothered it in Deans hands. Then, ever so slowly Cas began pumping himself with Dean Winchester's hands. Dean bucked, finding himself trying to search out Castiel's hole. That was, however, stopped by Castiel as he took one of Dean's fingers and stuck it inside Dean. Dean yelped out of pleasure and the stretch of his arm as Castiel bent down to whisper into his ear. 

 

"Oh, do you need me yet or are you having fun by yourself?" Castiel whispered, smiling to himself as he included the Winchester's sassiness. 

 

"CAS, Cas please oh god please I need you. I need you inside me." Dean screamed, loud enough for any and every angel to hear. That's all it took and the angel slowly pushed into him, allowing Dean to become adjusted to his member. Castiel looked into the emerald eyes of his lover and Dean nodded. 

 

Castiel started off slow, trying to find a rhythm for both him and Dean. Then suddenly all he felt was pure ecstasy. Castiel cried out as Dean did too. Cas began ramming into Dean hitting his prostate every single time. Dean yelled Cas over and over again, then suddenly Cas took his hand and ran it underneath of Dean and took hold of his balls gently squeezing them as he did. A single man tear ran down Dean's face, and Castiel knew he was close, so he rammed harder and harder into him, until finally the single word, "Dean" took on a whole new definition. Castiel cummed inside of Dean and soon after Dean sprayed them both in the hot sticky whiteness. Cas pulled out of Dean and laid next to Dean. 

 

"So that's what it's like?" Castiel asked. 

 

"What?" Dean inquired. 

 

"Making love."

 

Dean took a moment, wiping his cum off of the both of them, before answering. 

 

"I guess so, because we just had sex and I love you. So." 

 

A pause. 

 

"Well I'd very much like to do this again, Dean."

 

Dean began howling with laughter as he pulled the blankets up over them both and pulling Castiel's naked body against him, laying his head in the crook of Cas's neck. 

 

"I would like to do this again too." He whispered, but Castiel was already asleep. Dean pecked behind Castiel's ear and whispered, "I've always loved you.".

 

He too then fell asleep to the sound of Castiel's snores. Dean chuckled in his dreams as he thought of how he was going to explain to Sam how they started their relationship. 


End file.
